New Years Grieve

2009, let's face it, was pretty horrible over all. We are still losing Americans in Iraq and Afghanistan, the economy has not recovered, and the much ballyhooed health plan was so heavily attacked it wound up on life-support. Sure, there were bright spots here and there but the country is witnessing a foreclosure rate unlike any it has ever seen and record numbers of able-bodied workers are collecting unemployment insurance.


In my family, we had a bit of ecomonic recovery as I accepted a job as an "Instructional Support Specialist" at a local middle school. The pay is less than I had made as a journalist, but working with non-English speaking kids is rewarding, and the teachers at this school are my heroes. I have a full-time job with benefits, and for that I am incredibly thankful. The relief I felt was all-encompassing when I received my first pay check after nearly a year of unemployment.

Let's hope 2010 brings more sunshine into this gloom that hovers over so many of us. Prosperity and hope used to be almost taken for granted. Today their very remnants loom bright. Our doors our open to their glorious return.

Rushing back into the Journalism fire, the call of the Big Story

A lot of my fellow jilted journalists -- or as my newest fellow unemployed journalist-turned-blogger calls himself, eliminated journalists -- are a lot better about filing blogs daily or nearly daily. Especially Ralph Z., you know who you are, who always has lots to say.

So I am starting out writing without a real point but I am feeling strongly about fellow one-time colleague Tom Moran, lately of PSE&G of New Jersey, who left "the burning building of journalism," as The New York Times called it, a while ago only to champ at the bit terribly. The problem was he couldn't stand, as it turns out, needing a committee to decide whether to go to the bathroom. He felt trapped behind the glass window while life passed him by. He missed being out on the streets, in the trenches, digging up dirt and sharing his opinions in his role as a political columnist.

Never at a loss for words, Tom felt stifled. The Newark Star-Ledger has laid off 40 percent of its staff since Moran fled to the safety of a high salary and a company that would not soon go out of business. But Moran can't be a sell out. As long as there is a job for him at The Ledger, as long as there is a door open and a newspaper hits the streets, he wants back in.

It reminds me how much I love journalism and reporters with hearts as big as Tom Moran's. Tom and I go way back, to when we were both young and hungry and striving at The Record of  Hackensack, breaking stories to get our bylines on the front page.

He said he missed the adrenaline rush and riding the wave of a breaking news story. I do too, Tom. I do too.

Wow, what a Facebook controversy

I am a Facebook user, and it is usually a way for me to connect with my friends, check in with what folks are doing today, look at photos and peruse some local headlines of newspaper pages I joined. So I was quite taken aback by the passion and vehemence that followed when I posted a story by azcentral.com on how some Arizona schools won't show President Barack Obama's speech about education this week.

I posted the link, and this comment:

Wow, some Arizona schools are banning Obama's speech.

What followed was a veritable maelstrom on a Facebook page. I have close to 300 friends from across the country. These include people from my many walks of life. A lot are former newspaper colleagues from five newspapers as well as family members from my side and my husband's. Most of my family are liberal democrats, whereas some of my husband's are right-wing republicans, some quite religious.

Normally politics doesn't enter my Facebook page. But I put it there. It is one of the joys of my layoff from newspapers after 27 years to feel free to be able to more publicly proclaim my views. As a reporter and editor, I often felt it my professional duty to maintain objectivity in the world, and had I been on Facebook during my career -- I wasn't, I discovered it after I was unemployed -- I would not have use it as a political forum.

No sooner had I put up the link and the comment than my sister-in-law immediately said she can understand why parents would not want their children watching the speech. This spurred aggressive comments from one of my most liberal journalist friends, who is now working in Florida, who labeled my relative's views "the epitome of ignorance."

Suddenly one of my  most conservative journalist friends, still in Arizona, was taking on my Florida friend, complete with links to stories of his own, and they were having at it for comment after comment. Surprisingly, another person I seldom hear from leapt in, a friend my children's school, and on it went.

I found myself in the role of moderator.  And I kind of liked it. It was what I used to do in my last job at azcentral.com, where I tried to find the most interesting stories and post them, and hope that readers would comment on them. Each time a reader comments it's a "click," and that is what we wanted.

In Arizona, a lot of schools are sending permission slips home with kids so parents can "opt out" of the president's speech. Some districts won't show the speech at all.

At one point,  this is what I wrote on the Facebook page. It is my opinion on the debate:

"I think the parents who are against having their kids listen also have no faith in the education system. The point of listening to a speech would be to educate the kids, no matter what the president talks about. Afterward it would be up to the teachers to help the kids put it into perspective.
Presidential speeches are by their very nature historical. Denying children a chance to listen to any sitting president is denying them a front row at history in the making."

 

Hurry up school bell !

I know it isn't new to wish for the start of school, but it is new for me.

This is my first foray as a stay-at-home mom.

Don't get me wrong. I love this stint. It is great hanging out at home with my kids. I almost even quasi-relaxed. Sorta kinda. A little. I don't fly off the handle very time they do, only most of the time.

But still, if there was a God of the School Bells, I would kneel to its altar. I miss having eight or so hours of unadulerated time all to myself, time to squander, time to burn, time to utilize, in which to make money, with which to job hunt, straight time, time and a half, time is my time and is yours is captured...

It's a luxury, not answering to anyone, and if you are a mom, no matter how you slice it, you are answering to the kids. Making them a meal, cleaning a kitchen, making sure they are drinking enough, filling a water bottle before a football practice, packing an apple and a granola bar, checking to make sure their socks aren't sliding into their cleats. With my daughter, is she wearing make-up, is it too much, is it smudged, what else does she have on, does she a water bottle. And these are just a few items on the checklist before you leave the house.

If they are home, what are they doing, are they texting, what are they texting, who are they texting, how long have they been on the computer, X-box360, cell phone. Have they read today? How is their homework coming? Have they done their chores? Well? Do they understand the math?

Are they being nice to each other? Did they say please or thank you? Did you say "suck" ? I don't care if everyone else is saying it !

Do they get enough allowance? What should they be allowed to spend it on? Should they have a play date today or spend more time at home? Do they need more new clothes for school? Do they have all their school supplies? Are they eating enough vegetables?

How do I get him/ her to use a more polite tone with me? Where did they get that temper from?

Am I too hard on myself?

I need a break !

This is hard work ! And I have worked a lot. These are the toughest bosses I have ever had. I am ready for them to leave me alone -- for a few hours a day, thank you.

So I can miss them like crazy and wish they were home.

Jackie the dog's happy ending, the details

In the end, it was a local couple who took Jackie the dog.

They returned the aging, deaf canine, but not until news reports of Laura and Tai's desperation aired across the Phoenix metropolitan area.

They had Jackie, 15, a week. They had taken her to the vet, bought her special food and were about to build a new doggie door for her.

In short, they were simply going to keep her.

Yes, the story has a happy ending. But there didn't have to be a story. The family who dog-napped the 50-pound pooch should never have merely put her in their car and driven off.

Here is what happened, in Laura's own words:

"A couple saw her and thought Jackie was abandoned and took her, thinking they were rescuing her. The weird part is that they never thought to come in to the store and ask or look anywhere to see if she was wanted and missing.
"They live in a bubble (up off of Carefree Highway). Someone saw the news story and told someone that knew them and finally got the story back to them, so they called this morning. (Thursday, Aug. 20).
"We went to get her, and she was waiting for us in an air conditioned house, and when she saw us I think Jackie was thinking, 'Thank God. What took you so long.'
"The woman's mother also lived with them and is older, and it does seem like they all got attached to her and were contemplating putting in a new, larger doggie door for Jackie (they also have a small poodle puppy, Baxter.)
"Tai thinks they wanted to keep her.

"It was a little strange that they just seem to live in their own world up there and knew nothing about Jackie's story.

"We thanked them profusely, paid them for taking care of Jackie and taking her to the vet and buying her special food. (They never seemed to grasp the desperation and suffering we endured, but they were very kind and waved us on our way and sadly said their goodbyes to Jackie.)

"It was the best-case scenario."

By now anyone reading this blog knows the rest of the story, how Laura Scandrett and Tai got married in Colorado a little over two weeks ago, how Jackie the dog was their ring bearer. How the newlyweds love Jackie so much they got her shots, so they could be a threesome on their Mexico honeymoon, and how they stopped in Phoenix on their way south. 
This is where the tale turns sour. The couple, not knowing the ways of the desert, committed what is here considered a faux pas: They tied their dog up outside a store, a Barnes and Noble, to be precise, while they dashed inside to acquire a road map. Even so, they left Jackie with a bowl of water. And they tied her in the shade, and for less than half and hour. 
But, when the exited the store, to their horror, their companion was gone, pink

rhinestone collar, leash, water bowl and all.

Laura and Tai spent the next week in anguish, chastising themselves for not knowing that tieing up a dog outside a store is simply not done in Phoenix, as it is in Colorado; they hired a private eye, offered a $2,000 reward, put up fliers, scoured the pounds, even stood on street corners wearing billboards with photos of their dog.

It wasn't until Channel 3 TV aired on segment on their plight that they got news of the pooch.

"I guess this was a real lesson in many things. You probably already know that we just stopped in Phoenix at the time, but have now learned so much about the city and dogs and the summer and how things work.
"We also have been so moved by our experience of checking the pounds everyday, that Tai has his heart set on rescuing at least one dog from the Maricopa pound tomorrow and taking it with us back to Colorado.
"It was devastating every time we went and did not find Jackie, but it was also heartbreaking just to see how many incredible loving beings were there on death row. Jackie lost her twin sister a year ago, and I never wanted to get another dog for her golden years because she has mostly expressed irritation at the prospect, but now we have a real motivation to do what we can and pay back this city and all its fellow dog lovers by taking back one of its little dears."

Jackie is back, but why she was taken we may never know

Another day, another reason to blog about Jackie the missing dog, right? Wrong ! Today, the news is that Jackie has been found ! An entire week later, the deaf, 50-pound, black-turned gray canine has been returned to her frantic, heart-broken owners thanks to television publicity.

The story finally made it to a television news broadcast, Channel 3 TV news, to be exact, and within hours, dog and newlywed masters were reunited. I have no details, and I am dying for them.

Was it, as I surmised, another old being, who saw themselves reflected in the fading light in Jackie's eyes? That was my best hope, as well -- a kindred spirit who would keep Jackie in good health; someone who needed to be needed.

Whoever it was decided to return the dog after the dog's photo was aired on thousands of television sets across the Phoenix metropolitan area, the sixth largest in the United States. Were they afraid they had been spotted with the celebrity hound?

Or were they moved by the tears of Laura, the dog's human mother, who had raised Jackie for 15 years, practically never leaving her side, even living with her in VW van when times were tough for Laura. Jackie was the ring-bearer in Laura and Tai's wedding, just over a week ago.

I like to think it was the best of motivations that prompted the temporary owner to decide to return Jackie to her rightful owner. I like to think he or she felt remorse.

And mostly, I am happy at the ecstasy Laura and her new husband must feel that their loved one is back, that the honeymoon can continue, and that what must have felt like a possible blight on a new marriage can be wiped clean.

I am looking forward to learning more about what happened, but we may only get skin deep.

"Mad Men": Boring Affairs?

Don Draper of "Mad Men": sophisticated, blue eyes, black hair, so good looking. He had us hooked in Act 1, Scene 1 of Episode 1, Season 1. So the show two seasons later can afford some risks showing him unshaven with messed up hair in one scene, and in an almost boring sex scene in another.

That the bedroom scene between Don Draper and the flight attendant was dull -- at least I found it so -- must have been intentional. Watching the pair eat a bowl of Cheerios would have been more exciting. Meanwhile, their gay counterparts downstairs were having a screaming a good time, and I think that was the point.

Whereas Don almost feels obligated, at this point in his life, to cheat, even if he really doesn't want to, for his gay colleague, what was going to be his first real time out of the closet in a heterosexual world was an ecstatic, freeing, life-changing moment. The contrast was deliberate.

Then the fire drill. Too bad for our homosexual hero. His moment died, in more ways than one.

What is sparked is an exquisite tension about whether Don will squeal on his friend, or whether Don, who seems only ever to judge his wife, will actually have an opinion, now, about his colleague. The jury seems to be out about that: Don's narrowed eyes, his dramatic pauses before addressing him.

That these are but a few of many provocative story strands in "Mad Men" is why the show is so pleasurable.

Honeymoon nightmare continues; $1,000 reward offered for missing dog

The terrible ordeal of Jackie the 15-year-old stolen dog continues. Her human parents are devastated, now offering a $1,000 reward.
As more details have emerged, we now know that Jackie was tied up outside a Barnes and Noble, true, but at 7:30 at night, when it is not blazing hot, and with a bowl of water, and that it was for a very short amount of time.
She was wearing a pink rhinestone collar.
The thief took the dog, the leash, the collar -- and the water bowl.

The owner, Laura Scandrett, a good friend of my cousin Julie Engelsman's, describes what happened in her own words:

"I was passing through Phoenix on my honeymoon and my 15 year old dog Jackie was taken. I'm heartbroken and trying to do everything I can to get her back. Here is the story:

Last Saturday Tai and I were married in Colorado, where we live.

"We cancelled our honeymoon trip because I wanted to keep Jackie with us, as she's 15 years old and my devoted companion since her birth. We decided to take a road trip with her as our honeymoon and were planning to drive to Mexico for a few days. She got all her shots and certificates to prepare for the trip.

"Last Thursday evening we stopped in Phoenix at a Barnes and Noble bookstore in Happy Valley Shopping Center to buy a map of Mexico. We literally just stopped to buy the map and guidebook and saw the store from the highway.

"We tied Jackie up in the shade with her water dish between 7 and 8 o'clock in the evening. Tai checked on her at about 7 o'clock. When we came out about twenty minutes later, she was gone. "Her water bowl and leash were gone with her. She was wearing a pink, rhinestone collar and had a green leash and a dish of water.

"We are heartbroken.

"Our honeymoon has turned into the worst nightmare I can imagine.

"We are checking the pounds and shelters regularly, putting up
posters, handing out flyers in the neighborhood and listed her on CraigsList and Pets911. We are just trying to get the word out, so that if someone has her, they know she is loved and missed and will return her.

"We are offering a $1,000 reward to anyone to can help lead to her safe return...

"Jackie was the ring bearer at our ceremony last week, and anyone who was there and anyone who knows me knows that this has been the saddest two days of my life. I love her more than anything.

"I just hope someone thought they were rescuing her and now will see that she is loved and missed. "

Laura has loved Jackie since she was a puppy. Laura at one point had two from Jackie's litter, Jackie and a sister, but the sister pooch has passed away.

One can only imagine how Jackie must feel, at her age now, to be with someone new. We can all only hope that person is an animal lover.

" Jackie is the most mellow, wonderful- souled dog you have ever met," said Julie. "Jackie...
likes to rest most of her day. She can't hear anything, which worries me the most, that someone might back out of the driveway and think she will move out of the way when she hears the car coming, which she will not.

"This is worrying me sick, clearly."

Jackie, the case of the purloined pooch

This is a mystery, but it is a true story.

It is a story made more timely by Michael Vick's return to football, when suddenly everyone seems to feel the need to re-proclaim their love of dogs.

But this isn't about football or pit bulls, it is about true love, the kind that compels a newly wed couple to bring their beloved canine on their honeymoon.

Laura Scandrett is a good friend of my cousin Julie Englesman's. Last weekend, she and her new husband, Tai, got married in Colorado, and couldn't bear to leave Laura's dog, Jackie, 15 at home.

"Jackie just walked Laura down the aisle at her wedding. Jackie is Laura's best friend, literally," Julie said.

So the honeymooning threesome hopped in car and took a road trip to Phoenix, which is where the tale gets ugly. Whereas in California, or even Flagstaff, it might be okay to leave a dog tied outside a store for a few minutes, it is simply not a common practice here in the desert.

When Laura and Tai exited a local Barnes and Noble, their newlywed bliss turned sour when there was no sight at all of their 50-pound, deaf, black-turning gray favorite pal.

"I know she is devastated, but I also know her well enough to know she is a wreck, and not wanting to talk about it without falling to pieces," Julie said.

The California couple have hired a private eye to help in the case but they are worried as they don't understand why, even if a do-gooder worried about the dog in the heat, they didn't look for her owners in the bookstore.

The reason I am bringing up Quarterback Vick is since his signing with the Philadelphia Eagles there has been an immediate surge in dog brutality items on Facebook. There's a poll about pit bull fighting, and jokes about, "Hide your beagle, Vick's an Eagle." Someone even quipped when I posted a Facebook photo of the missing Jackie, "Vick?"

For Laura Tai and Jackie, let's hope for a happy reunion before the day is out.

Jerome, a good friend

This is about my good friend Jerome. I just found out two days ago he passed away, at the too young age of 59. It hit me like a freight train.
One of the most full- of- life people I ever met is no longer inhabiting our world.
Not that I kept him in my life, and that is one reason I am mourning. I am sad not just for the end of his life but for the friendship I didn't keep. Jerome and I were camp friends. I haven't spoken to him since I was a counselor at YMCA Camp Talcott in Huguenott, N.Y. more than 34 years ago.
Some people believe in fate and a new term that has come to my attention, synchronicity, and if you do, than, maybe I do too. I am a Facebook user, and two days ago had just typed in Jerome's name, trying to track him down all these years later, to no avail, when I decided to look up another old friend, Kathy Reutlinger. Kathy is on Facebook, and in her very first responding hello Facebook email to me she said Jerome had just passed away.
I was just days too late from saying hello and good bye to my old friend.
This is Jerome the way I remember him: Funny, irreverent, radical, rebellious, the greatest sense of humor and the embodiment of an inner-city cool that I from a Connecticut suburb could never hope to possess. Jerome, from Chicago, was "all that."
If there was ever a guy you wanted to hang out with at camp it was Jerome. He always knew where the fun was going to be: He was the party.
But it was more than that. He was so accomplished. He was this great athlete; he was in amazing physical shape, he was an awesome swimmer and basketball player. He was the camp waterfront director, which is a very powerful position at a summer camp. Jerome was powerful. But I'll get back to that.
As a counselor, we used to have these Lost Man Drills, LMDs. We used to have comb the water looking for a potentially missing camper, and the strongest swimmers had to do these long and repetitive dives in the deep end. Jerome was always one of those swimmers, who could hold his breath for extremely long periods of time and cover large areas under water before surfacing.
Jerome also embodied camp spirit. "I'm a little teapot short and stout," he would start off, in front of an assembled camp body, "then give it to me baby and let it all hang out !" and he would dance with these ridiculous moves and campers of all ages would squeal with delighted laughter.
You always wanted to be on Jerome's good side because he was good friends with Pete Moffat, the camp director in my time at camp. This gave Jerome a kind of immunity. He could break rules that others were not allowed to break. He could stay up later, drink beer, and engage in certain other indiscretions. I spent many a night playing spades with Spider, Jerome and Pat, drinking beer and smoking. Most of these were forbidden, which made them that much more fun for a 16-year-old.
Rules at camp were many and strict, but did not pertain to Jerome. He flouted them with ease. Yet at the same time he excelled at all aspects of his job. Jerome was this huge, larger than life personality. He exuded vitality, virility, humor and confidence.
Yet, his friends tell me, he wasn't able to overcome certain self-destructive behaviors. Substance abuse took its toll on his kidneys. Oh Jerome, you had so much to give and to live.
I will always remember you in the prime of your life.
Good bye my friend.